In this world we are often thrown around on the stormy seas of life. Life can be such an exciting and enjoyable unknown. With many so many peaks and troughs, we forge through our rolling emotional waves that take us to the tops of the world or leave us feeling incapacitated and ill with despair.
There is a great power to be found in the unknown, because it keeps life spontaneous and fun. We are given the opportunity to play it like a game. If we knew what was going to happen all the time then life would become predictable and boring. It would leave us for the most part, without novelty and we would be left in the doldrums of our own monotony. So hopefully we can see that the scariest and unknown parts of the ride are often the most fun.

Often though we are left with a feeling of being overwhelmed by what is being presented to us. We can feel sick and incapacitated by the anguish and the sheer size of the obstacles before us. Well, first off, we are often not even aware of what we are feeling and this is one of the most rampant dilemmas that we, as modern humans, face. We are severely disconnected from our emotional experience. As time and industry has progressed we have been propelled continuously into a cognitive world. Such cognitive weighting has led to great innovation and progress but at what expense? We are richer than we have ever been but we are less satisfied. We are in great and ongoing conflict with ourselves and others around us and we are left with an ever-increasing epidemic of mental illness.

The Cost of Emotional Distraction

One consideration then is the importance to connect with what we are feeling. People may often find themselves feeling the need to drink or take drugs or have sex or watch TV. But why? One reason to consider is that we are experiencing something emotionally but we don’t know what it is. We don’t know how to experience it. We don’t have the courage to look at what we are feeling and name it and understand why we are left feeling hurt or confused or frustrated or stressed or whatever the feeling is. So we distract ourselves with behaviour that will fill the emotional trough that we are experiencing in some way that will move us back up to the peak. Unfortunately this is merely a bandage solution and will more often than not exacerbate the problems that we are experiencing. Such distracting and destructive behaviours will then compound and build up so that the next time we feel overwhelmed by the emotional rollercoaster it will become ever faster and even scarier to the point where the sheer force of the stress will start degrading our body and ultimately strain our minds leaving us with any number of mental illness. Substance abuse, addiction, anxiety or depressive disorders, schizophrenia and so on…

Name What You Are Feeling

A great method that we can use to diffuse the emotional tension that we are experiencing is by naming the emotion that you are feeling. If you notice that you feel emotionally off, check your feelings, check your thoughts and name it. Out aloud is best, but if not write it down. What is it that you are feeling right now? By naming it you are allowing yourself to see what you are dealing with. It is like in the films, the monster is always scariest when we can’t see it. Our imaginations create the worst, but once we know what it looks like, once it has a name and a face, it is no longer as scary and usually is on its way to being defeated. So don’t run but stand and face the fall and you will see that’s its not so big. At first, you may find it difficult to properly name what you are feeling. You might start saying you feel “BAD” or “STRESSED” but over time you will gain a greater vocabulary and you will be able to see what you are feeling, catch it and help diffuse move away from an emotional slump and instead you will be able to change tracks and begin to lift again.

Empathy: Builds a Vocabulary of Life

To better help gain an understanding of yourself and your internal world it can also help to connect to the world around you. This is a great cost of being a cognitive society is that we don’t even know that we are upset, nor what we are upset about. We don’t even have a proper vocabulary for it with ourselves. We are amazing processors of information and constantly taking in huge amounts of information beyond what we could ever consciously comprehend. By becoming greater processors of our external world we can better understand its impact on us. The way to do this is through empathy. Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. Experiencing what others are experiencing. When you see a child cry, try to understand from their experience why they are sad because their ice cream dropped on the ground. Is it because they are instant gratifiers and are sad they will have to wait for another? Are they living from a limited mindset where they don’t believe they will get another? Is it because they are sympathizers and feel bad for wrecking the carpet?

By understanding the world from a greater perspective than just ourselves, we not only see how the world impacts on us but we can also gain a greater insight into how we can control that impact. There is no right or wrong way to practice empathy, but the very act of putting ourselves in another’s shoes teaches compassion, and brings a greater connection and control over our emotions. Maybe, most importantly, empathy provides a deeper insight and emotional intelligence into the way in which people are experiencing the world and therefore will guide our own behaviour to get the best out of another person. This might not seem so important, but when we remember that “no (person) is an island”, we understand the constant barrage and importance of our daily interactions with the populated world and how people can harm or help us. So get to know yourself by knowing your world and you will carve through the stormiest seas with the wind in your sails and a smile in your heart.