There is a great power in compassion, one that shines a light on the darkest moments and most abrasive relationships. I often found myself in situations where I was overwhelmed by my interactions with people that left me feeling emotionally drained. It took all I had to endure these people and their moods and attitudes. I soon realized that what was draining me was not the person themselves but my reaction to them. I was resisting who they were and who they were choosing to be.
We are typically egocentric beings that look at the world from one perspective. This is because it is typically easier to observe the world from your own perspective than every single person you meet. That means when you are communicating with someone you typically assume that they are looking at the world from your perspective, that is unless their experience is beyond the limits of what your mind can accept, such as if they are too happy for you or too sad, then their emotional experience is separated from your own and typically rejected. Nonetheless, our experience of putting ourselves in another person’s shoes is what has enabled our civilization and global community to grow. For example have you ever noticed yourself crying in a film when something bad happens or get excited when another triumph’s, this is because of our natural empathy.
We are naturally empathetic creatures and because of that we personally experience other people’s hardships. We take on their pain and their joys. This is one of our greatest characteristics as humans but it can also work to our disadvantage, if we let it run our lives unchecked, as it can leave us disempowered and disabled. Therefore as we take on others emotions in our everyday lives we can find ourselves resisting and resenting them for the emotional hole that we have joined them in. For instance have you noticed when your partner comes home from work in a bad mood while you are in a good mood, and soon enough you find yourself in an equally bad mood with them without having even spoken to them? This is because we have resisted them because we have empathized with them – a natural part of being human.
You don’t need to resent yourself for resisting them, it just means that you are being an empathetic being. However you have identified with their story as your own, from your perspective rather than acknowledging that they have been on their own journey that have led you both to the current place you are both in. Therefore there are ways to be empathetic that don’t leave you emotionally drained and that is through the power of compassion. Compassion is a powerful way to still keep love for someone without taking on their pain. When we acknowledge the journey someone else has been on we allow ourselves to disidentify from their pain and instead gain a more objective look at their story. We allow ourselves to move out of the narrow view of the present moment and instead broaden our perspectives of their journey and our own to gain an unaffected understanding.
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop (Ancient Greek. 620 BC-560 BC)
When we realize that we don’t have to take on another’s story we are free to acknowledge another truth – People in bad moods are probably having bad days. These bad days may be ongoing for months or years. Think about it, have you ever met a person that sits in the corner with their happiness and doesn’t care to share it with anybody? No. Happiness has to be shared and we all hold a natural inclination to pass it on to every person we meet, otherwise it loses all its value. So when you see a person that you know who leaves you emotionally lower, think about THEIR journey. Ask yourself the question, “what has happened that have left them unhappy?” When we can take a step back from our own perspective and acknowledge someone else’s we are given the amazing power of compassion. We can share with them our heart in a way that doesn’t leave us emotionally debilitated and instead we are able to take a step forward to give to them and help out. When we realize that their story is not our journey our own happiness is highlighted, and by sharing that joy in our actions to help them we are able to further inspire both them and ourselves.
Remember this: It is as important to be as compassionate for others as it is for ourselves. We exist beyond this moment, so remember your story and the journey you have travelled and give yourself a break. Smile at yourself from your heart and really feel the feeling in your heart of compassion, of giving yourself a break and not taking yourself so seriously.
So when you next are in a situation in which the person you are with leaves you emotionally drained because their attitude is poor, think about the journey they have been on, realize it is not your own story and smile at them from your heart. It is important to truly wish them the best possible outcome in their troubles and that they find themselves smiling soon. This mediation may inspire you to step forward and help them or it may ask you to step away, but either way it will help you be the best possible version of yourself for them and yourself. Compassion helps remove stress from your heart, opening yourself to the radiant possibilities of your health and your life. Your compassion enables you to cultivate greater connections with others as well as yourself. It highlights to yourself the good fortune that your own life holds and inspires you to be the best version of yourself and for all.
ExtropyGold 